Kelly Clarkson sings about sucking

Aside from the terriffic title, I don’t care much for Kelly Clarkson’s new single, My Life Would Suck Without You. But I’m clearly in the minority, as the mid-week charts suggest she’s getting her first UK number one on Sunday…

Anyway, La Clarkson was in Radio 1’s Live Lounge on Tuesday, showing off her amazing set of pipes. And she did some singing, too (har-de-har). It turns out that, performed acoustically, her song is exactly 8.4 times better.

It’s up in video on the Radio One website, along with the obligatory cover (heresy alert: she did one of her own songs). But if you’re too lazy to click the link, there’s an mp3 of the track coming up.

Kelly Clarkson – My Life Would Suck Without You (live lounge)

Kelly "Jelly" Clarkson’s new single

Guess what? She’s still banging on about her ex-boyfriend.

Kelly Clarkson – My Life Would Suck Without You

Collating the things that people say

So, the MTV awards went ahead in Miami – despite the Hurricane, and people getting shot, and the obvious dearth of decent acts willing to take part. It speaks volumes when the only vaguely interesting picture from the event is of Shakira. (Oh, okay, and this one of Nelly Tomato, but only because we love her).

Frankly, we couldn’t be bothered to watch, but here’s what the people of the interweb had to say:

Eva Longoria is dressed as a giant cameltoe. Viewers with HDTV are treated to a topographic map of Eva’s vulva. (fluxblog)

Alicia Keys, once again, failed to disappoint those expecting her to look like shit. (goldenfiddle)

I’m still convinced that Ciara is a man. (clever titles are so last summer)

Apparently white guys can only be on MTV now if they wear eyeliner. (fluxblog)

For a minute there I was asking myself, “Why, exactly, is P. Diddy famous?” Then they showed the Notorious B.I.G. thing and I remembered: he had a friend once who like, died. We should give the guy a fucking medal. (stereogum)

Kelly Clarkson took a random friend up on stage to accept her award and said, ‘Sorry, I don’t have an entourage so I decided to bring up my friend Ashley.’ I LOVE HER. (popjustice boards)

We wept. More importantly, we turned off the TV and listened to some actual music. (gawker)

Watch the trailer for the new Harry Potter film

Charlotte Church gains our respect for telling the truth about all the other pop stars. Bob Dylan “sounds like a freak”, Beyoncé is “so out of tune that it does my head in”, and Chris Martin is “a bit wimpy”. Only a bit?

Is this wrong?

Cats in sinks

Idiot Toys brings a much-needed sense of perspective to coverage of gadgets and toys. Why would you ever need a chair you can plug your ipod into, anyway?