Pixie Lott falls to earth

Teenagers spend a lot of time trying on different personas, “personalising” their jotters and growing questionable moustaches (questionable as in “not very good” rather than “Hitler”). It’s all part of establishing your identity, and working out your place in the world.

Be honest, you had dreams of going into space, or turning those swimming trophies into a Olympic medals, or marrying Jason Donovan and feeding him baked beans in a jacuzzi. After all, no-one grows up wanting to become a dentist.

But what happens if you’re a thrice Brit-nominated pop star before you can learn to drive? What do you do with those growing pains then?

If you’re Pixie Lott, the solution is to imitate all your favourite musicians before settling on your own style. Her first single, Mama Do, was an homage to the retro soul sound of Amy Winehouse. For the follow-up Boys & Girls, she was a little bit Billie. Mega-ballad Cry Me Out was a very British attempt at doing Alicia Keys.

Now, on her fourth single Gravity, Pixie is chanelling the spirit of Leona Lewis. With every line, she gradually ratchets up the dramatics until the chorus arrives with a big swooshy noise and the vocals take off like Usain Bolt chasing a handbag thief down Fifth Avenue.

The song’s all about some boy Pixie keeps coming back to, even though their relationship is rotten (a classic teenage mistake – for God’s sake don’t get engaged when he goes to university). Where Pixie excels is in selling that lyric. You can feel the confusion and frustration and passion in her voice, where Leona would just bellow out the tune with all the subtlety and force of an exploding bouncy castle.

All of which suggests that, when Pixie finally decides who she wants to be, she’ll earn a darn sight more than three Brits nominations.

(Here’s the video, in which Pixie looks surprisingly leggy for an eight-year-old.)

Pixie Lott – Gravity

Pixie Lott: Cry Me Out video

Cry Me Out is quite clearly the standout track on Pixie Lott’s debut album.

Played live by Pixie’s pin-sharp soul band, it sounds like the greatest lost torch song of all time (if the greatest lost torch song of all time ripped off Alicia Keys’ You Don’t Know My Name). The recorded version doesn’t quite live up to that promise – the arrangement is a bit too synthetic to allow the melody to soar – but it’s a solid 8/10, nonetheless.

The ballad is coming out as a single on 30th November with one beady eye on the Christmas countdown. To help it on it’s way, Mercury Records (for whom money seems to be no object when it comes to this project) have splashed out on hiring Jake Nava of Single Ladies fame to direct a Hollywood-style song’n’dance epic.

It isn’t going to inspire as many copycat “virals” as Beyoncé’s rump-wiggling dance-off, but we’d be over the moon if it sparked a massive surge in synchronised swimming sequences.

Especially if they “accidentally” drown Tinchy Stryder in a paddling pool.

Pixie Lott – Cry Me Out

Pixie Lott follows up a number one with…

Another potential number one? It’s certainly one of the most unashamedly commercial songs I’ve heard this year. Her personality comes through much better in this video, too.

Pixie Lott – Boys & Girls

I got into a lot of trouble last week when I jokingly suggested on twitter that Pixie’s latest was in fact a new single from Billie Piper. But watch this video and tell me you can’t see the similarities.

Billie Piper – Girlfriend

Extra-curricular activities

If the blog has seemed slightly neglected over the last few weeks, here’s why: A series of “high profile” (slightly desperate) and “expertly crafted” (cobbled together) features on the BBC News website. Links and bonus content as follows:

The Veronicas interview

What were they like? Hungover, flirty, hilarious

Most useless quote: “My favourite thing to do, aside from singing, is laugh” (Lisa)

Best bit that didn’t make it: On whether they were pissed off that Katy Perry had nicked the “kissed a girl” line from Take Me On The Floor:
Jessica: “It’s true! She totally stole our thunder!”
Lisa: “We’re friends with Katy, so it’s cool. Her song is very different from ours. Apart from the kissing girls bit.”

Pixie Lott interview

What was she like? Amazingly, for a stage school graduate, really interested in music. Made me give her my copy of Daniel Merriweather’s album.

Most useless quote: “When I was younger I’d always sing the Whitney classics and the Mariah classics”.

Best bit that didn’t make it: “There’s a song on the album called Jack, which was written by a girl band called M2M seven years ago. One of them used to go out with Zac from Hanson, and when they broke up she was really upset and wrote a song about it. But she didn’t want to make it obvious it was about him, so she called it Jack. I’m singing their break-up song, which means that, technically, I’ve dated Zac Hanson.”

Black Eyed Peas interview

What were they like? Jetlagged, but polite. Interestingly, Taboo, Fergie and apl defer to will.i.am on all matters, on and off-camera.

Most useless quote: “This record is just more focused on dance sounds. It’s like the dance knob is at 200, instead of 75, 50, the way it used to be.” (will.i.am)

Best bit that didn’t make it: Will.i.am on the new wave of hip-hop: “Here we are in 2009 and there’s Boom Boom Pow and there’s Kid Cudi and there’s Kanye West experimenting with electro. It’s back to the early 90s when Technotronic did ‘pump up the jam, pump it up, yo pump it’.”

Britney Spears concert review

What was she like? A high-quality drag act.

Most useless quote: “What’s Up London? Awesome!”

Best bit that didn’t make it: Britney’s voicebox.

Pixie Lott: Loads of new "content"

We mentioned hotly-tipped teen sensation Pixie Lott a couple of weeks ago and, while not exactly slating her, suggested that perhaps her Duffy-lite pop ditties were a touch opportunistic.

We were instantly inundated with (two) comments, protesting that Pixie has an amazing voice and a catchy single. These statements are hard to deny, but they also applied to Joss Stone two years ago, and look how that turned out.

Anyway, I actually managed to see the young hopeful record a Radio 2 session a couple of weeks ago and, to be completely honest, she’s very good. And very tall.

Her debut single, Mama Do, is a surefire top 10 hit and the follow-up Gravity is a cracking ballad, even if it does crib from Bleeding Love a bit. But I was most impressed by Cry Me Out, a huge, string-drenched Philly soul groove which bears a slight resemblance to Alicia Keys’ You Don’t Know My Name and, creditably, does not suffer by that comparison.

Videos of the session, which featured the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, are up on the Radio 2 website until the end of the week, and audio versions are available on Pixie’s official Youtube channel.

The video for Mama Do was also released last week (this train is really building up steam, isn’t it?). Unlike Little Boots, Pixie at least has a go at the choreography…

Pixie Lott – Mama Do (Uh Oh)

Pixie Lott: Loads of new "content"

We mentioned hotly-tipped teen sensation Pixie Lott a couple of weeks ago and, while not exactly slating her, suggested that perhaps her Duffy-lite pop ditties were a touch opportunistic.

We were instantly inundated with (two) comments, protesting that Pixie has an amazing voice and a catchy single. These statements are hard to deny, but they also applied to Joss Stone two years ago, and look how that turned out.

Anyway, I actually managed to see the young hopeful record a Radio 2 session a couple of weeks ago and, to be completely honest, she’s very good. And very tall.

Her debut single, Mama Do, is a surefire top 10 hit and the follow-up Gravity is a cracking ballad, even if it does crib from Bleeding Love a bit. But I was most impressed by Cry Me Out, a huge, string-drenched Philly soul groove which bears a slight resemblance to Alicia Keys’ You Don’t Know My Name and, creditably, does not suffer by that comparison.

Videos of the session, which featured the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, are up on the Radio 2 website until the end of the week, and audio versions are available on Pixie’s official Youtube channel.

The video for Mama Do was also released last week (this train is really building up steam, isn’t it?). Unlike Little Boots, Pixie at least has a go at the choreography…

Pixie Lott – Mama Do (Uh Oh)

New music: Pixie Lott

Imagine a world where the people behind Hepburn and the people behind Natasha Bedingfield got together to create a new pop star. I know it’s hard, but if you close your eyes really tightly and stick hot needles into your fleshy bits, you might just be able to imagine this parallel universe of crap.

To be assured of success, these ruthless pop svengalis would have to make several tough decisions.

Who should this new artist sound like: Duffy or Adele? Will she record her mid-tempo pop ballads at 100bpm or 98bpm? Should her official biog mention MySpace? Or has that been superceded by Twatter or Bookface or Bobo? It is all so terribly difficult.

Well, for right or wrong, those choices have all been made. The result is Pixie Lott, a blonde 18-year-old stage school graduate who sounds a bit like Duffy and Adele, whose songs are recorded at a variety of tempos in the range 98-100bpm, and whose official biog mentions MySpace and beseeches you to check out her updates on Twitter.

No stone has been left unturned, folks. The beach is a fucking mess.

Because true pop savants know that you can’t go wrong with parentheses, her first single is called Mama Do (Uh Oh, Uh Oh). It’s a tale of sneaking out of the house behind your parents back, although it’s more Nancy Drew than Cyndi Lauper.

Here is the sound that it makes in your earholes:

Pixie Lott – Mama Do (Uh Oh, Uh Oh)

Here are some other gems from Pixie’s press release:

“The voice hits you round the head like a Tom & Jerry frying pan” (??!)

“50 [is] the age at which she will officially identify herself as ‘old'” (???!)

“You can only call her by her real name if she’s misbehaved” (????!)

“It is a song about love on a bungee rope” (?????!)

“[Her debut single] is produced by Lily Allen and Beck collaborator Greg Kurstin” (this one is an outright lie)

Comedy gold, readers. Comedy gold.