NERD video

We first mentioned NERD’s new single, Everyone Nose back in January but it’s only just lumbering into view over the horizon now.

Given the shoddy production work Pharell and Hugo have turned in for Madonna and Ashlee Simpson lately, this is something of a return to form – a big, bouncy club anthem about women “doing” cocaine with (irony alert!) Lindsay Lohan in the video.

Here you go:

NERD – Everyone Nose

Return of the N.E.R.D.

Pharrell and the other one are back, Back, BACK!!! And their mate has tagged along, too, because he was promised some fizzy pop and a Club biscuit.

If you’d written them off, you were absolutely right to do so – particularly in the light of that Gwen Stefani debacle with the goatherd. But the production duo’s new single Everyone Nose (from forthcoming album N3RD) is a return to their former big bass, big beats, silly noises glory.

The “All the girls standing in the line for the bathroom” refrain is going to create a stampede for the dancefloor at your local discothequery.

N.E.R.D. – Everyone Nose (MP3)

Cup size not disclosed

If you get your kicks from parading around in pop stars’ old underwear (and who doesn’t?) you should head over to Ebay. Because, Britney Spears is auctioning her grundies to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

But before you get too excited, our careful research suggests that most of the items are already too expensive to bid for. That’s careful research as in typing “Britney’s pants” into the ebay search engine for thirty minutes before giving up and watching the Toxic video.

Have you noticed how all the best new bands are, by pop standards, practically pensioners? Alison Goldfrapp, Alex Kapranos and Ricky from Kaiser Chiefs are all in their 30s. And that means they all have musical skeletons in their closet… To which end, Culturedeluxe have dug up a recording of Alex Kapranos’s band “The Blisters” from 1997. Funnily enough, it’s better than almost everything on the new Franz Ferdinand album.

Pharrell Williams and Gwen Stefani’s “Can I Have It Like That” is streaming at contactmusic.com. As usual, the Neptunes backing track is light years ahead of anything else out there but Pharell is an awful MC and Gwen just sounds bored.

Meanwhile, Pharrell told Radio One that N*E*R*D have split up, but almost instantly changed his mind. It seems the poor boy is getting muddled up. Maybe he should stop smoking those funny cigarettes Snoop lends him.

Celebrity cherry picking

Unashamedly stolen from the PJ messageboards, who pilfered it from US Weekly, here’s a list of when and how your favourite popstrels lost their virginity.

What’s surprising is how many of them waited for “the one”, which kinda ruins the illusion of those Hollywood sex parties we’d always imagined.

Ho hum.

Jessica Simpson:
At 22: “Something about our wedding night was so magical! He pulled me out of my dress, and the dress was just standing there on its own because it was a Vera Wang masterpiece.”

Justin Timberlake:
“I’ve been doing this since I was 15…I enjoy it, and I praise it.”
(“I praise it”??? What kind of person speaks like this? Is he talking about his penis? Sheesh)

Britney Spears:
At 18: “It was 2 years into my relationship with Justin [Timberlake], and I thought he was the one…but I was wrong! I didn’t think he was gonna go on Barbara Walters and sell me out.”

Jessica Alba:
At 18: “I was told I was nasty or dirty if I was sexual in any way.”

Fergie:
At 18: “I’ve always been a very sexual person, I’ve always had to hold myself back…I lost my virginity at 18. But that took a lot of willpower.”
(In what way did it take a lot of willpower? Did she have to force herself on some reluctant dweeb? Somehow, we don’t think so.)

Pharrell Williams:
At 16: “We worked at McDonald’s…She was an older lady, 28 or 29.”
(Romantic, non?)

Tommy Lee:
At 13: “It was the girl next door–my sister’s best friend.”

Tara Reid:
At 17: “It was down at my Jersey Shore beach house…on the sand. It was disgusting. Four hundred mosquitoes. I had hives everywhere.”

Carmen Electra:
At 16: “It was in Cincinnati in the back seat of a car. It wasn’t glamorous…I actually felt bad I didn’t wait longer.”
(Well, exactly. Five more minutes and she could have done it in the comfort of her own home.)